Two and a Half Men Season 9

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Two and a Half Men Season 9

The multi-talented Ashton Kutcher, whose success spans film, television and social media, joins the cast of the Emmy® Award-nominated Two and a Half Men as the hit comedy series returns for its ninth season, continuing the laughs about men, women, sex, dating, divorce, mothers, single parenthood, surrogate families, money and, most importantly, love.

Episode guide

  1. 01 - Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

    All is revealed in the ninth season premiere when ASHTON KUTCHER joins the cast as Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire with a broken heart.

  2. 02 - People Who Love Peepholes

    Guest star JUDY GREER is introduced as Bridget, Walden's ex-wife in the second part of the ninth season premiere.

  3. 03 - Big Girls Don't Throw Food

    Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

  4. 04 - Nine Magic Fingers

    Trying to rebound from his recent separation, Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right, while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Lyndsey (guest star COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH).

  5. 05 - A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

    While Alan struggles to come to terms with Lyndsey's risqué movie past, Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party at the house.

  6. 06 - The Squat and Hover

    Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her. JOE MANGANIELLO (True Blood) guest stars as Bridget's new beau, Alex and JANE LYNCH (Glee) returns as therapist, Dr. Freeman.

  7. 07 - Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

    Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor (guest star MACEY CRUTHIRD)...who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

  8. 08 - Thanks for the Intercourse

    When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional...and is pushed over the edge.

  9. 09 - Frodo's Headshots

    Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test ability to cope...including GARY BUSEY!

  10. 10 - A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

    Walden hits it off with a British babe (guest star SOPHIE WINKLEMAN), but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

  11. 11 - A Lovely Landing Strip

    Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest, Zoey, when Bridget reappears in his life. MELANIE LYNSKEY returns as Rose.

  12. 12 - One False Move, Zimbabwe!

    Walden's mother, Robin (guest star MIMI ROGERS) arrives and Alan is smitten with her -- even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

  13. 13 - Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

    When Walden's ex-wife and his mother try to take control of his company and vote him off the board, Walden enlists Alan as an ally in the boardroom battle.

  14. 14 - A Possum on Chemo

    Zoey tries to coerce Walden into cutting his hair and shaving, while Alan rekindles his relationship with Lyndsey.

  15. 15 - The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

    Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta's "special" brownies. MATTHEW MARSDEN guest stars as Zoey's ex-husband, Nigel.

  16. 16 - Sips, sonnets and sodomy

    Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.

  17. 17 - Not in My Mouth!

    Walden and Zoey's relationship has a few ups and downs after they share a near-death experience...and Walden shares his true feelings. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

  18. 18 - The War Against Gingivitis

    Things get tense in the Malibu house when Walden's estranged ex-business partner, Billy (guest star PATTON OSWALT), shows up looking to bury the hatchet with a money-making idea. Will their combustible relationship get in the way of their success? Meanwhile, a lonely Alan pays a visit to Berta.

  19. 19 - Palmdale, ech

    Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers (HOLLAND TAYLOR and GEORGIA ENGEL) to one another, so that they can have more time together. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge enlist Walden to drive them to a high school house party that they never find.

  20. 20 - Grandma's Pie

    Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey try to come to terms with their moms' new relationship.

  21. 21 - Mr. Hose says "Yes"

    Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him - for a trial run. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.

  22. 22 - Why We Gave Up Women

    Academy Award® winner KATHY BATES guest stars as the ghost of Charlie Harper who pays a visit to Alan's hospital bedside after Alan suffers a minor heart attack.

  23. 23 - The Straw in My Donut Hole

    On the 200th episode, Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved. JASON ALEXANDER (Seinfeld) guest stars as Alan's cardiologist.

  24. 24 - Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

    Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future on the ninth season finale. Comedian Patton Oswalt returns as Walden's ex-business partner, Billy.