Two and a Half Men Season 7

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Two and a Half Men Season 7

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer star in the Emmy® Award-nominated Two and a Half Men, a comedy about men, women, sex, dating, divorce, mothers, single parenthood, sibling relations, surrogate families, money and, most importantly, love. More specifically, it's about the lives of two brothers, a son/nephew and the many women who surround them. 

Charlie Harper is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Mercedes in the garage and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan, and Alan's son, Jake, come to stay with him. Despite the complexities of their lives and their own strained relationship, Charlie and Alan have one thing in common: They both love Jake and want what's best for him. As a result, they manage to create a little family unit that promises to make each one of them a better man.

Episode guide

  1. 01 - 818-jklpuzo

    On the seventh season premiere, Charlie (series star CHARLIE SHEEN) must decide between his fiancée, Chelsea (recurring guest star JENNIFER TAYLOR), and his old flame, Mia (recurring guest star EMMANUELLE VAUGIER). Rock superstar EDDIE VAN HALEN makes a cameo appearance as himself.

  2. 02 - Whipped Unto the Third Generation

    When Charlie's fiancée, Chelsea, convinces him to let Melissa (recurring guest star KELLY STABLES), Alan's girlfriend, move in, the girls take over the house.

  3. 03 - Mmm, Fish. Yum.

    Alan (series star JON CRYER) plays nursemaid to Judith's baby and her tipsy mother, Lenore (recurring guest star ANNIE POTTS). Meanwhile, Jake (series star ANGUS T. JONES) blackmails Charlie with an incriminating photo.

  4. 04 - Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

    Alan takes a job working for Evelyn (series star HOLLAND TAYLOR), and Charlie is forced to mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.

  5. 05 - For the Sake of the Child

    Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public.

  6. 06 - Give me your thumb

    Alan recommends that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.

  7. 07 - Untainted by Filth

    Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.

  8. 08 - Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

    Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate (guest star TRICIA HELFER--Battlestar Galactica) to stay at the house while she gets over a bad breakup.

  9. 09 - Captain Terry's spray-on hair

    Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea and Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.

  10. 10 - That's Why They Call it 'Ball Room'

    Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.

  11. 11 - Warning, it's Dirty

    Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas. Legendary Television Producer/Writer/Actor CARL REINER guest stars as "Marty Pepper," a famous TV producer whom Evelyn invites to Charlie's for Christmas dinner.

  12. 12 - Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

    Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.

  13. 13 - Yay, No Polyps!

    Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents (guest stars STACY KEACH and MEAGEN FAY), only to return home and find them in his living room.

  14. 14 - Crude and uncalled for

    Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case (STEVEN ECKHOLDT).

  15. 15 - Aye, aye, Captain Douche

    Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea.

  16. 16 - Tinkle Like a Princess

    Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife...but she's not Chelsea! STACY KEACH returns as Chelsea's father and JOHN AMOS guest stars as his boyfriend.

  17. 17 - I Found Your Mustache

    Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand. STACY KEACH returns as Chelsea's father and JOHN AMOS guest stars as his boyfriend.

  18. 18 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day

    Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient. TRICIA HELFER returns as Chelsea's best friend and FRANCES FISHER guest stars as Alan's patient.

  19. 19 - Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave

    Jake's new friend, Eldridge (guest star GRAHAM PATRICK MARTIN), is a bad influence but Alan really likes his hot mom, Lyndsay (guest star COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH).

  20. 20 - I Call Him Magoo

    Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend (COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH), while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience."

  21. 21 - Gumby With a Pokey

    Alan and Jake go on a road trip while Charlie is visited by the ghosts of girlfriends past -- including guest stars KATHERINE LANASA, MING NA, EMMANUELLE VAUGIER, RACHEL CANNON, AJA EVANS, MAGDALENA HOLLAND, REBECCA MCFARLAND, KATY MIXON, JODI LYN O'KEEFE, MISSI PYLE AND RENA SOFER. ZZ TOP also makes a special appearance as themselves, while MARTIN MULL returns as Charlie's pharmacist Russell.

  22. 22 - This is Not Gonna End Well

    After Charlie's license is suspended, Jake becomes Charlie's driver. And much to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party on the seventh season finale. STACY KEACH and JOHN AMOS return as Chelsea's father and his boyfriend.