Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer star in the Emmy® Award-nominated Two and a Half Men, a comedy about men, women, sex, dating, divorce, mothers, single parenthood, sibling relations, surrogate families, money and, most importantly, love.
More specifically, it's about the lives of two brothers, a son/nephew and the many women who surround them. Charlie Harper is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Mercedes in the garage and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan, and Alan's son, Jake, come to stay with him. Despite the complexities of their lives and their own strained relationship, Charlie and Alan have one thing in common: They both love Jake and want what's best for him. As a result, they manage to create a little family unit that promises to make each one of them a better man.
01 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Charlie Harper (series star CHARLIE SHEEN) is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Mercedes in the garage and an easy way with women. However, his casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan (series star JON CRYER), and Alan's son, Jake (series star ANGUS T. JONES), came to stay with him. Jake's inevitable progress into puberty continues to bring new challenges for himself and everyone around him. Complicating matters further are Charlie and Alan's narcissistic, emotionally toxic mother, Evelyn (series star HOLLAND TAYLOR); Alan's deeply neurotic ex-wife, Judith (series star MARIN HINKLE); and Charlie's domineering, unapologetically blue-collar housekeeper, Berta (series star CONCHATA FERRELL). Despite the complexities of their lives and their own strained relationship, Charlie and Alan have one thing in common: They both love Jake and want what's best for him. As a result, they manage to create a little family unit that promises to make each one of them a better man.
In the fifth season premiere, Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high school - but they might end up traumatizing him instead.
02 - Media Room Slash Dungeon
Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother. And Alan's date, Sharon (JANEANE GAROFALO - "The Larry Sanders Show," "The West Wing"), reacts oddly after having sex with Alan.
03 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Tired of dating vapid young women, Charlie allows Alan to introduce him to a sophisticated, intelligent municipal court judge, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN - "ER," "The Joy Luck Club"). Unfortunately, intimidated Charlie behaves so badly at dinner that Linda refuses to see him again - until he ends up in her court. Meanwhile, Jake won't stop talking on his cell phone.
04 - City of Great Racks
In the landmark 100th episode, Charlie gets closer to consummating his relationship with Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN), but he keeps seeing Rose's (former series star MELANIE LYNSKEY) face everywhere he turns. Recurring guest star JANE LYNCH appears as Dr. Freeman.
05 - Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Charlie has to find creative ways to entertain the 4-year-old son of his girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN). Meanwhile, Alan becomes a human "guinea pig."
06 - Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Charlie's girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star MING WEN), is embarrassed to be seen in public with him. Meanwhile, despite Alan forbidding it, Jake sneaks out to a concert.
07 - Our Leather Gear Is In The Guest Room
Charlie and Alan argue over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn. Recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER appears as Teddy, Evelyn's boyfriend.
08 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, making Alan miserable. Guest star RICHARD KIND ("Spin City") appears as Artie, an executive at Charlie's record label.
09 - Tight's Good
After Evelyn and Teddy (recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER - "Hart to Hart," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me") become engaged, Charlie struggles to fight his attraction to Teddy's daughter, Courtney (guest star JENNY McCARTHY - "Scary Movie 3," "Dirty Love"), Charlie's soon-to-be stepsister.
10 - Kinda Like Necrophilia
While trying to help Jake get over a breakup, Alan discovers that it was Charlie who stole his high school girlfriend. Alan seeks revenge on Charlie by following the same advice Charlie dispenses to Jake.
11 - Meander to Your Dander
Seeing Alan not fully passionate about his relationship, Charlie coaches Alan in the fine art of breaking up with a woman.
12 - A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Rose (recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY), Charlie's lovable stalker, is back from England and takes strange care of a very sick Charlie.
13 - The Soil is Moist
Alan dates one of his ex-wife's friends who reveals a secret about Judith's sex life. Recurring guest star RYAN STILES ("The Drew Carey Show") appears as Judith's second husband, Herb.
14 - Winky-Dink Time
Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets Alan up with a prostitute. Recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY appears as Rose.
15 - Rough Night in Hump Junction
Alan worries that Charlie's womanizing is out of control. Recurring guest star JANE LYNCH ("The L Word") appears as Charlie's therapist, Dr. Freeman, and recurring guest star EMMANUELLE VAUGIER ("Saw II," "Saw IV") appears as Charlie's former fiancée, Mia.
16 - Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Alan enthusiastically plans Evelyn's wedding to her rich fiancé, Teddy (recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER), and Charlie tirelessly pursues his future stepsister and Teddy's devious daughter, Courtney (recurring guest star JENNY McCARTHY). Rose (recurring guest star MELANIE LYNSKEY) even gives Charlie some advice about stalking.
17 - Fish in a Drawer
A CSI team investigates a mysterious death that occurred at Charlie's house during Evelyn and Teddy's (recurring guest star ROBERT WAGNER) wedding reception. Recurring guest star JENNY McCARTHY appears as Courtney, Teddy's devious daughter. GEORGE EADS ("CSI: Crime Scene Investigation") makes a cameo appearance at the reception.
18 - If My Hole Could Talk
Charlie finds himself attracted to Angie (recurring guest star SUSAN BLAKELY - "Rich Man, Poor Man"), an older woman who writes self-help books. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake battle over a school assignment.
19 - Waiting for the Right Snapper
Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the grown daughter of Angie (recurring guest star SUSAN BLAKELY), the woman he's dating, and realizes they have met before. Recurring guest star JANE LYNCH returns as Charlie's therapist, Dr. Freeman.